Friday, April 16, 2010

A Week Without Socialism

Dear Glenn, Sarah, etc.;
You may have read my recent post about Altar Chimps.  If so, you know I'm an Idea Guy, a Solution Guy.
And have I got one for you.
I know you just had a big Tea Party for Tax Day, congrats.  But now what?  What can you do to grab the next news cycle?

A National Week Without Socialism!

I know, right? Why didn't anyone think of this before?  For one week, all freedom loving people will wake up and go about their day without relying on Big Government and its intrusion into our lives, our families, our very souls!

  • 4am.: Alarm goes off.  Up and at em! Grab those bootstraps, it's time to get the little ones ready for work! Fourth and Fifth grade were boring and tilted left by the liberal education elite anyway. During AWWS, Billy and Sally get to throw off the burdensome yoke of child welfare laws and freely pursue their best potential at the local bucket factory.
  • 5am : Check on Grandma and Grandpa and Grandma and Grampa.  They're all sharing the kid's room.  They moved in for the week.  Freed of the regressive Social Security system, they're back as part of the American Family Unit. Now elderly and unable to work, they'll bond closer with Billy and Sally when the kids get back from the bucket factory tonight, knowing they are now dependent on the children's income for food.  And Billy and Sally will now get a chance to really get to know them, and the intricacies of their health problems, taking over for the Nanny State's home health aids.
  • 5:30 am: Breakfast.  Sure, oatmeal is bland, but after Billy almost died from tainted sausage, it seemed like the wise thing to do.
  • 6am: Take out the trash.  Tricked you!  Silly reader, there's no taking out the trash, because those sucking-from-the-public-teat garbage collectors won't be around to pick it up!  Just burn it, or better yet, do what was good enough for our Founding Fathers and throw it in the front yard! Smells like freedom.
  • 7am: (via Todd Bublitz)  I'm off to walk my kids to (expensive private) school (so I don't have to use those public roads). We'll walk across private property and pay each land owner a toll as we go.
So many ideas!  Wish I didn't have to go to work.  If you have any ideas for the AWWS event, post 'em in the comments or send them to me and I'll add them to the post.  

Remember: Freedom Isn't Free, It's Ad Supported.